"African Roulette"


The Foreign Minister of a small African state had opportunity to visit Russia for the very first time. There he was warmly welcomed by his Russian counterpart, who wined and dined him and generally offered him the best hospitality that Russia could offer.

On his last day, the Russian Foreign Minister took the African Foreign Minister into a room with a table on which lay a revolver. "My comrade, since you are about to leave, I must introduce you to a custom we have here in Russia, something called Russian roulette. It is a true test of manhood and worth, and how it works is that you must take the revolver, spin the cylinders, hold the revolver to your head and then pull the trigger. Only one of the six chambers is loaded."

The African leader, being of proud warrior stock and a courageous man, took the revolver, spun the cylinder, snapped it shut, pointed it at his head and sighed with relief when all he heard was 'click', but no shot.
Well impressed with his bravery, he and the Russian drank vodka until the African leader had to be carried aboard his plane.

Six months later the Russian Foreign Minister visits the African Foreign Minister's country. The African, remembering keenly the Russian roulette he had to play previously, took the Russian into a room on the last day of his visit. In the room were six beautiful, naked young women.

"To prove your courage and manhood, see before you six of the most beautiful women from each of our tribes. This is something I call 'African roulette'. You may pick any one of them and they will give you a blowjob."

The Russian, not too averse to this idea at all, asks the African, "But where is the risk? To be called roulette there must be some form of risk involved."

The African smiles broadly. "One of the six is a Cannibal."

No survivours as Pakistani plane crash kills 153 people

Both families are devastated

---------------------------------------------------------------

Two aboriginals, Lionel and Cedric were walking down their local shopping centre when they came across a sign on a shop front which read "Turn white for $10.00"

Amazed on how cheap it was, Cedric said to Lionel, "But I've only got $20.00"
"That's easy" was the reply. "I'll go in first and when I come out, I'll give you the $10.00 change. So he goes into the shop and comes out after 15 minutes.

Amazed by the result, it turned Lionel pure white. "OK bro, hand over the $10.00 change so I can get done"

"Fuck off you black cunt" was the reply.

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the feckin thing up.

Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"


An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy" he replies.


Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What the feck you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself" Paddy replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the Guard.
"I know" says Paddy "but I couldn't feckin breathe".





Irish Virginity Test Kit


Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself..... Virginity Test Kit....
a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."

Paddy asks, "Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.
If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...", you hit her with the shovel.'



Paddy tells Mick he's thinking of buying a labrador.
Feck off say's Mick, “have you seen how many of their owners go blind”?

Cymru am byth wrote:

No survivours as Pakistani plane crash kills 153 people

Both families are devastated

---------------------------------------------------------------

Two aboriginals, Lionel and Cedric were walking down their local shopping centre when they came across a sign on a shop front which read "Turn white for $10.00"

Amazed on how cheap it was, Cedric said to Lionel, "But I've only got $20.00"
"That's easy" was the reply. "I'll go in first and when I come out, I'll give you the $10.00 change. So he goes into the shop and comes out after 15 minutes.

Amazed by the result, it turned Lionel pure white. "OK bro, hand over the $10.00 change so I can get done"

"Fuck off you black cunt" was the reply.

both families? I thought Pakistan was just 1 big family.

"When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea and a half a dozen eggs.

"You can't do that now. Too many fuckin' security cameras."

Advice for all new Muslim immigrants :

If you are trapped in a burning house

Or have been seriously injured and are

bleeding to death,

The new emergency number is:-


















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Thank You For Your Patience.

I'm heading out to get the new Barack Obama Christmas ornament. It's the only time I'll be allowed to publicly hang a black man from a tree.

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